Thank you all for your words - however I am not brave and this is not courage. Courage only exists in relation to fear and I felt no fear in writing this - apprehension possibly but not fear. I have a resolute belief that we need to be open about the impact of poverty, that the story of it has to have as much space as the story of privilege. Poverty has been and is, normal for so many of us … why hide this? Who owns our story?
Honestly I firmly believe the 'not cool kids' are a thousand times cooler, like genuinely. I've spent a fair amount of time around rich people - like really rich people - and the one thing you conclude when you have to listen to them droning on about whatever new thing they bought and whatever inadequate thing the help did, and their endless shallow uninformed views on any general social or political subject, is that they are, like, terminally lame. We only thought the 'not cool kids' are not cool because it was the lame people that got to define coolness. Coolness is not having a Stanley cup, it's having an opinion worth hearing.
Let’s all share them Stephenie - let them tumble from our mouths and take up space and create a place here - a place of belonging and a deep-bone knowing of community.
I agree with you. It oozes through the cracks ~ I knew it would because this is Social Media regardless. So many, don't even write stories - they advertise. I feel like I'm the only one that wants to entertain, rather than sell. A good story is hard to write and most of us are on notes comparing how much more we know about Trump's next move. But, I want to read a story that takes me to a different moment and you did that Katrice. You are by no means alone. Sometimes I notice the ones that advertise such fantastic lives are the loneliest.
You, perhaps, are the SALT of the EARTH, bringing out all the real flavors and the beauty of life......
Take a long ok at some of the @smallstack stuff - they highlight writers with under 1000 followers. I think also that everyone who has responded to this are not those who want to ‘sell’ we are not alone here.
That sentence “so many don’t even write stories - they advertise” crystalised something that’s been bugging me all year. I’ve been on Substack for two years and it’s definitely got more noisy with ‘stuff’ and ‘how to get rich from Substack’ posts in the past year. I joined because I wanted to practice my writing yet I feel the external pressure to monetise more and more and I’m uncomfortable with that.
I can very much relate to this, especially the irony that is those who are the most ‘successful’ who are monetizing the most. I know I will have to go to paid subscriptions next year as I am truly struggling financially but there is such discomfort. Also a little rage vent about when you start reading something, get engrossed and then ‘bam!!’ “Upgrade your subscription to read more” ….. grrrrrr. Either offer it fully or do not offer it at all - ok vent over!
Hi Lynn, I know and I agree. I've been on substack for almost two years myself and it has changed! As all things do - but it's getting to look a lot like TWITTER. But I do subscribe to some very worthy good writers and that makes it worthwhile. Also noticing now - THE GUYS - coming through with their descriptions of how old, how tall, how frankly stupid they are! Because they've mistaken substack for a dating service - I know that my Substack is called FLYING BRA - but it is a brazen feminist newsletter ~ what do you like to write?
I enjoy life writing, I wanted to test my comfort and commitment to writing regularly and sharing publicly before crafting a memoir. Prior to doing a memoir writing course with Monique Roffey I had never considered myself to be a writer but she gave me lots of encouragement and I’ve kept going with it. Similar thing happened with my art which came to me unexpectedly during a protracted period of illness. I set up an instagram account to be my visual library and it’s grown from that.
yeah this is the trick, because the entire world is ruled by commerce we literally can't have those spaces.
An example is Cara, the new artist network everyone ran to when Insta announced they were going to scrape our stuff for AI training whether we want it or not. An actual artist started the website literally out of her own pocket. But as it started to grow faster than she expected she was suddenly in a massive bind because the servers were costing her more than she could keep up with and even though thousands of people were signing up, not that many were willing to also pay to support the platform.
This is the issue. We want things for free but things aren't free. So if the platform is free then you are the product. We know this but we can't bring ourselves to do something about it. I pitched in my annual 50$ for Cara because I think if we want these good spaces, the spaces that aren't at the whims of the corporate lizard people, we have to prop them up ourselves.
And also here, even as a published author, I give almost 100% free advice and art. Not to mention STRIPE now just went up - so they will be taking more out of our subscriptions - just like the credit card companies -
Thank-you for this, Substack has been bringing up similar feelings in me - all the cool kids over there and I'm on the outside looking in - as it ever was. I was wondering if I was projecting but knowing that others feel similar really helps!
I am the "not cool kid" who escaped poverty using imagination. I earned a poor wage throughout my working life. I gave of myself to entertain, teach, show children of well off parents what magic lay inside books and words spoken out loud in their visit to the Library. A Librarian is a subversive profession that is overlooked by many. I kept my imagination and artistry all through my life - it is in my makeup. I keep true to my weirdness, and seek out like minded types. My clothes are secondhand but my soul remains brand new. I feel like a child at times - you can't outrun your past but you can remain a person who looks at things differently from the mainstream. Be true, inhabit liminal spaces, live in awe of nature.
I totally get it and in my short time here in the stacks, have thought similar thoughts. I've wondered about all those who have been privileged enough to have gone to college and studied creative writing and then went on to get an MFA in the same discipline...and the sense of entitlement that goes with that...even more so if they were fortunate enough to go to the so called best schools or programs. I've thought about them graduating and how many important doors may swing open easily for them being connected. I have always looked away at what was popular or trending. But I know there are no guarantees, never have been any. And possibly worse, there is no applause or reward for enduring grinding poverty and years of abuse save for the pat on the back you must give yourself on a regular basis as a reminder to avoid falling back in. All that said, on this planet steeped in temporality there is an equivalency. Keep plugged in. Appreciate what you wrote and that you are here.
I have pondered many times how Substack can feel a bit like being back in high school, wondering if you belong and whether the cool kids will notice you!
We should not need to feel that the cool kids will notice us …….. why do we? This is the little yet tight knot of discomfort that I feel needs to be gently tugged in order to see what threads of story have created it ….
It has taken me a couple of days to process this writing Katrice as I related to so much of what you shared. Thank you for writing this and putting into words how I think many of us feel. So happy to connect with you through your words x
I have barely been on Substack that long and this resonates so much. Definitely an experience of outside looking in. Also, definitely a member of the not cool kids club and not quite fitting in. Thanks for doing what you set out to do. You wrote and I was able to read write and connected and I was able to feel seen. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing your story, I resonate with a lot of this, having known poverty myself, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here and for what it's worth substack needs you and your writing!! Keep going...
Parts of this really resonate with me. We were poor, not quite to the extent your family was though. I do understand some of your struggles and also understand your privilege now. Stories need to be told, not swept under the rug. Poverty is real, poverty still exists, shouldn’t exist. ❤️
I think poverty is actually one of the most unspoken ‘shames.’ I am very open about the fact that I am still struggling financially, I have no pension or savings - mainly due to being a woman who is divorced and that whole system being against me. If my present husband dies before me (I hope not) I will be forced to live in Sweden as I do not have enough money to move back to the UK …. I am still struggling but I do not carry shame about it. I own my story, it does not own me.
Thank you all for your words - however I am not brave and this is not courage. Courage only exists in relation to fear and I felt no fear in writing this - apprehension possibly but not fear. I have a resolute belief that we need to be open about the impact of poverty, that the story of it has to have as much space as the story of privilege. Poverty has been and is, normal for so many of us … why hide this? Who owns our story?
I am here for “not cool kids” club. This is my Substack jam! Thank you for mirroring so many experiences that I have not seen reflected here before.
Honestly I firmly believe the 'not cool kids' are a thousand times cooler, like genuinely. I've spent a fair amount of time around rich people - like really rich people - and the one thing you conclude when you have to listen to them droning on about whatever new thing they bought and whatever inadequate thing the help did, and their endless shallow uninformed views on any general social or political subject, is that they are, like, terminally lame. We only thought the 'not cool kids' are not cool because it was the lame people that got to define coolness. Coolness is not having a Stanley cup, it's having an opinion worth hearing.
Let’s all share them Stephenie - let them tumble from our mouths and take up space and create a place here - a place of belonging and a deep-bone knowing of community.
I am unsure exactly where to start with this : the pain, the courage, the openness, the resilience.
I am so grateful to know you and to get to walk this path with you. Thank you for being you, always x x
Thank you Kerri, it is wonderful knowing you are here.
I agree with you. It oozes through the cracks ~ I knew it would because this is Social Media regardless. So many, don't even write stories - they advertise. I feel like I'm the only one that wants to entertain, rather than sell. A good story is hard to write and most of us are on notes comparing how much more we know about Trump's next move. But, I want to read a story that takes me to a different moment and you did that Katrice. You are by no means alone. Sometimes I notice the ones that advertise such fantastic lives are the loneliest.
You, perhaps, are the SALT of the EARTH, bringing out all the real flavors and the beauty of life......
Take a long ok at some of the @smallstack stuff - they highlight writers with under 1000 followers. I think also that everyone who has responded to this are not those who want to ‘sell’ we are not alone here.
That sentence “so many don’t even write stories - they advertise” crystalised something that’s been bugging me all year. I’ve been on Substack for two years and it’s definitely got more noisy with ‘stuff’ and ‘how to get rich from Substack’ posts in the past year. I joined because I wanted to practice my writing yet I feel the external pressure to monetise more and more and I’m uncomfortable with that.
I can very much relate to this, especially the irony that is those who are the most ‘successful’ who are monetizing the most. I know I will have to go to paid subscriptions next year as I am truly struggling financially but there is such discomfort. Also a little rage vent about when you start reading something, get engrossed and then ‘bam!!’ “Upgrade your subscription to read more” ….. grrrrrr. Either offer it fully or do not offer it at all - ok vent over!
Hi Lynn, I know and I agree. I've been on substack for almost two years myself and it has changed! As all things do - but it's getting to look a lot like TWITTER. But I do subscribe to some very worthy good writers and that makes it worthwhile. Also noticing now - THE GUYS - coming through with their descriptions of how old, how tall, how frankly stupid they are! Because they've mistaken substack for a dating service - I know that my Substack is called FLYING BRA - but it is a brazen feminist newsletter ~ what do you like to write?
I enjoy life writing, I wanted to test my comfort and commitment to writing regularly and sharing publicly before crafting a memoir. Prior to doing a memoir writing course with Monique Roffey I had never considered myself to be a writer but she gave me lots of encouragement and I’ve kept going with it. Similar thing happened with my art which came to me unexpectedly during a protracted period of illness. I set up an instagram account to be my visual library and it’s grown from that.
'....they advertise'. This is it. I cannot get away fast enough from those who write long ads in disguise.
I realize we all need to make a living. And I do. But, I was hoping this would keep its integrity a bit longer.
How do you mean Laura…?
Meaning, I understand why people advertise their business' - I was just hoping SUBSTACK would stay strictly writers and readers - story only.
yeah this is the trick, because the entire world is ruled by commerce we literally can't have those spaces.
An example is Cara, the new artist network everyone ran to when Insta announced they were going to scrape our stuff for AI training whether we want it or not. An actual artist started the website literally out of her own pocket. But as it started to grow faster than she expected she was suddenly in a massive bind because the servers were costing her more than she could keep up with and even though thousands of people were signing up, not that many were willing to also pay to support the platform.
This is the issue. We want things for free but things aren't free. So if the platform is free then you are the product. We know this but we can't bring ourselves to do something about it. I pitched in my annual 50$ for Cara because I think if we want these good spaces, the spaces that aren't at the whims of the corporate lizard people, we have to prop them up ourselves.
You are young and intelligent - you may be able to create a way that the little school of fish don't always get eaten by the big school of sharks.
And also here, even as a published author, I give almost 100% free advice and art. Not to mention STRIPE now just went up - so they will be taking more out of our subscriptions - just like the credit card companies -
That mission is what brought me here.
I am just jumping in here to say that I am bloody loving all this sharing - this is what brought me here Lynne, Laura and Lidija - all the 'L's'
Thank-you for this, Substack has been bringing up similar feelings in me - all the cool kids over there and I'm on the outside looking in - as it ever was. I was wondering if I was projecting but knowing that others feel similar really helps!
Let your gut be your North Star Rebecca
I can really relate to this.
It gladdens me that they resonate with you.
Well done on your bravery, the ‘connect’ list ticks a lot of boxes for me. You are not alone here that’s for sure
Thank you for these words - they are comforting to read.
I am the "not cool kid" who escaped poverty using imagination. I earned a poor wage throughout my working life. I gave of myself to entertain, teach, show children of well off parents what magic lay inside books and words spoken out loud in their visit to the Library. A Librarian is a subversive profession that is overlooked by many. I kept my imagination and artistry all through my life - it is in my makeup. I keep true to my weirdness, and seek out like minded types. My clothes are secondhand but my soul remains brand new. I feel like a child at times - you can't outrun your past but you can remain a person who looks at things differently from the mainstream. Be true, inhabit liminal spaces, live in awe of nature.
Gorgeous Gaynor.
I totally get it and in my short time here in the stacks, have thought similar thoughts. I've wondered about all those who have been privileged enough to have gone to college and studied creative writing and then went on to get an MFA in the same discipline...and the sense of entitlement that goes with that...even more so if they were fortunate enough to go to the so called best schools or programs. I've thought about them graduating and how many important doors may swing open easily for them being connected. I have always looked away at what was popular or trending. But I know there are no guarantees, never have been any. And possibly worse, there is no applause or reward for enduring grinding poverty and years of abuse save for the pat on the back you must give yourself on a regular basis as a reminder to avoid falling back in. All that said, on this planet steeped in temporality there is an equivalency. Keep plugged in. Appreciate what you wrote and that you are here.
I have pondered many times how Substack can feel a bit like being back in high school, wondering if you belong and whether the cool kids will notice you!
We should not need to feel that the cool kids will notice us …….. why do we? This is the little yet tight knot of discomfort that I feel needs to be gently tugged in order to see what threads of story have created it ….
It has taken me a couple of days to process this writing Katrice as I related to so much of what you shared. Thank you for writing this and putting into words how I think many of us feel. So happy to connect with you through your words x
Perhaps all of us here who have felt witnessed share our words so others can feel the same Kelly. Here is to tenacity.
Love your raw honesty and I can relate to some of your anger. Thank you for modelling courage!
It was not courage - perhaps just my wildling self, free at last from the constraint of social constructs and breathing breath to shape truth.
This pushed so many butttons that needed pushing -- thank you, Katrice
Thanks Jan, I was hesitant about writing it but really anted to as well ….
Felt really honest and right
I have barely been on Substack that long and this resonates so much. Definitely an experience of outside looking in. Also, definitely a member of the not cool kids club and not quite fitting in. Thanks for doing what you set out to do. You wrote and I was able to read write and connected and I was able to feel seen. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing your story, I resonate with a lot of this, having known poverty myself, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here and for what it's worth substack needs you and your writing!! Keep going...
Parts of this really resonate with me. We were poor, not quite to the extent your family was though. I do understand some of your struggles and also understand your privilege now. Stories need to be told, not swept under the rug. Poverty is real, poverty still exists, shouldn’t exist. ❤️
I think poverty is actually one of the most unspoken ‘shames.’ I am very open about the fact that I am still struggling financially, I have no pension or savings - mainly due to being a woman who is divorced and that whole system being against me. If my present husband dies before me (I hope not) I will be forced to live in Sweden as I do not have enough money to move back to the UK …. I am still struggling but I do not carry shame about it. I own my story, it does not own me.